


dying in slow motion

by buttheyrebrothers



Series: Poetry [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Poetry, Post-Episode: s05e22 Swan Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 10:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5452688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttheyrebrothers/pseuds/buttheyrebrothers





	dying in slow motion

There are days when you wonder how this has become your life. You will look in the mirror and see a stranger. A monster dressed as man. Another sad story turned violent.

Your whole life is a collateral damage.

The man in the mirror smiles at you. All you see is a feral snarl. The mirror shatters.

Or is it your life?

You close your eyes but the nightmare stays. It’s in your heart, in your lungs. The disease is pumping through your body and a scream claws its way out of your chest.

When you open them again redness is clouding your vision. You can’t see a thing, so your mind shows you a body. It’s jumping. Falling. Disappearing. There is blood on your hands and deadness in your eyes.

Shards on the floor and in your lungs. Breathing hurts. Being alive is so painful you feel tears sliding down your cheeks. But you made a promise.

There was a boy. He was right there, a hand's width away. You would look at him, and he would smile back at you like he couldn’t help it.

He was so beautiful.

Your knees hit the floor like your fist the innocent mirror. The one who dared to show you the truth. Hands trembling, desperate to hold onto something. Auburn hair. Broad shoulders. A bottle of whiskey.

But that’s all gone. You gave it up. You thought it was for the best.

You and him, you saved the world.

As the sobs wreck your body you can’t help but think, fuck the world.

It’s still gone. He’s still gone.

Once, there was a boy and he was all there was good and bright and warm. The one thing you did right. And you would cradle his face and he would look at you and you would kiss the love right from his lips.

Love cannot save us. It makes us bleed. It hurts. But we will always come back for more. And one day, it will make you promise to go on and you will wish you were stronger.

But you’re not. You promised. You had nothing more to give to him and still didn’t think twice. That’s just how it works.

You will say ‘Sammy, I can’t.’ and he will look at you and say your name like only he was ever able to. In the end, you never stood a chance.

And so you pick yourself up from the ground, mindless of the mess you made. You wipe away the tears and leave blood tracks instead. You allowed yourself a moment of weakness and look a bit worse for the wear. You go on.

You’ve got work to do.


End file.
